


heart strings

by foxtrot12



Series: bmc (mainly boyf riends) [12]
Category: Be More Chill, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Feelings Realization, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxtrot12/pseuds/foxtrot12
Summary: michael is in love with his best friend.  his best friend, however, is across the country.  literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [founding_daddio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/founding_daddio/gifts).



_Sprinting up the stairs, Michael tried not to crash into any walls as he made his way to his room, slamming the door shut when he got there.  His mom yelled about the slammed door, but Michael could hardly contain his excitement, clutching his new birthday gift in his hand: a cell phone.  It was a little chunky, the screen was small, and it didn’t hold a lot of memory, but it was enough for Michael._

_Logging onto his and his brother’s shared laptop, Michael began clicking through tabs and links to a private chat._

_JEREMY!!!_

_HEY JEREMY_

_JEEEEERM_

_Michael bounced happily at his desk, eagerly waiting for a reply._

_Hey, buddy!_

_What’s up?  Did you have a good day at school?_

_WHEN DO I EVER? LOL XD_

_BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER I HAVE GOOD NEWS_

_?!?!?!?!?_

_I GOT A PHONE!!!!_

_FOR REAL??_

_FOR REAL!!_

_236-555-2747_

_!!! 693-555-2495_

_i hope you like ur new contact name!!  player two!!_

_Michael I’m player one, you’re player two!_

_umm wasn’t it me who kicked ur ass the last time we played a game???_

_im player one jeremy_

_besides, player one would get no where without his player two_

_Awww_

_*nowhere_

_ur the worst im trying to have a moment here_

_Sorry, sorry.  Player two wouldn’t have anywhere to go without his player one to look up to._

_THATS MORE LIKE IT!!_

_now lets abandon this dumb chat room and move to texts!_

Three years later, Michael sat in the same room, except this time it was his room and his alone, the laptop in it was newer and faster, and the walls were adorned with video game posters and a lone Tron poster.  

 _“Jeremyyy,”_ Michael whined, laying on his bed in his underwear, his laptop resting on his stomach.  Skype was open, capturing a lovely angle of Michael’s double chin, but he was too tired to move.

“Hmm?” Jeremy hummed in response on the other line, not looking up from his homework.  He scratched out his work and sighed, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration.  Michael was fairly certain Jeremy had been working on the same problem for the past fifteen minutes.

“Remember when we first started texting?” Michael asked, playing with the sheets of his bed.  Jeremy took a moment to look up from his work to smile.  Although he tried not to, Michael immediately smiled back.

“Of course I do.  My parents nearly took away my phone you were texting me so much.”  Jeremy laughed.  “They were convinced I was talking to some pedophile in California.”

“Uhhh,” Michael narrowed his eyes, but Jeremy had already went back to his work.  “My mom actually _did_ take away my phone.  For two weeks!  And my laptop!”

Jeremy snorted.  “Yeah that was funny.”

“You were near tears when I talked to you afterwards.”

“N-no I wasn’t,” Jeremy stammered, looking around anxiously.  He didn’t want Michael to notice that he was blushing.

“Bullshit!” Michael replied, laughing lightly.  

Michael eyes softened as he watched Jeremy chew on his bottom lip, a nervous habit he developed a while ago, and wring his hands together.  Michael wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and give him a playful nudge and ruffle that curly mess that was his hair.  He wanted to hear Jeremy’s laugh with his own ears, not through the shitty audio of Skype.  He wanted to lean against him when he got tired, playing video games together all into the night.  He wanted his best friend.

“Michael!” Jeremy shouted, tapping on his microphone, jarring Michael back to the present with that God awful noise.  “You too busy daydreaming about me?” he joked, settling back into his spot on his own bed.

“You _wish_ ,” Michael replied without missing a beat.  After a few years, he had become pretty good at concealing his feelings.  “I was thinking about how you _were_ crying.  What’d you say?”  Michael put on his best pout and began to mock Jeremy with the saddest voice he could muster.  “‘ _I thought I’d never talk to you again!  Two weeks, Michael!  You had me worried to death!_ ’”  Michael put a hand over his chest, feigning distress.

“Sh-shut up!” Jeremy nearly yelled, tugging on his shirt.  “I was really worried,” he continued, lowering his voice.  Michael slumped back on his pillows.

“You know I’d never _actually_ leave you?” Michael asked, his tone of voice mirroring Jeremy’s.

“I know.”  Jeremy smiled, resting his head in his hand, propped up by his elbow resting on his knee.  “It’s just that you’re my only friend and I was worried you got sick of me or something.  It’s not like I can just track you down at school and ask what happened.  We could literally drop off the face of the Earth and neither would know.”

A heavy silence hung in the air.  Both boys watched each other for a moment before smiling hesitantly.  Despite being best friends for nearly five years now, they had always held this worry in the back of their mind.  They always held the worry that they’d never get to see each other.  California and New Jersey were pretty far apart; it would be an expensive trip with money neither of them had.  To say the least, it was a rough subject that neither of them liked touching.

“You know I’d never get sick of you,” Michael replied, breaking the silence.  “You’re my _favowite_ person, remember?”  Both boys laughed quietly.

“Yeah,” Jeremy mumbled.  “And even though you still refuse to get dressed when you call me, I still love you.  But honestly, Wonder Woman underwear?   _Really_?”

Michael flushed, his heart racing.  “How did you know?”

Jeremy laughed.  “Dude, you've gotten up _at least_ five times in the past two hours.  I got a clear shot of your butt every time.”

“Is it cute?” Michael asked, despite the heat radiating from his face.  

“What?”

“My butt-- is it cute?” Michael repeated, trying to hide his smile.

Jeremy’s face fell, trying to process through the ridiculousness of Michael’s question.  Slowly, a dopey smile made it’s way to his lips.  “It is,” he replied, choosing his words carefully, “but mine is cuter.”

Michael rolled his eyes.   _Uh yeah, damn you right._  “You wish, Heere,” Michael challenged.  

“No, really, I can show you,” Jeremy shot back.  “And _I_ don’t have ugly underwear like yours.”

“Hey!  Diana is a wonderful lady, be nice to her,” Michael responded matter of factly, nodding his head solemnly.  Jeremy opened his mouth to say more but he was cut off with someone shouting on his end.

“Sorry,” he murmured, his face almost immediately falling, “I told my dad I’d help him with something hours ago.”  Jeremy smiled apologetically although his shoulders were still slumped.  “Text you later?”

“Text you later,” Michael confirmed, nodding.  He hated to see Jeremy go, but they both said their goodbyes before the screen went back to their chat.

_Call: 3 hours 27 minutes_

Michael stared at the number for a moment before closing his laptop with a sigh and pushing it out of the way.  He rested his arms over his face, the sleeves of his hoodie completely blocking out what little light he had in his room.  His heart still raced from their conversation as he struggled to gather his thoughts.

Maybe someday they would meet.  Maybe they would go to the same college like they had planned back in eighth grade.  Maybe they could go out for lunch and then to ice cream after, maybe even see a movie, for three and a half hours instead of talking to a screen.  

Michael groaned.

 _Maybe, maybe, maybe._ That wasn’t good enough.  He didn’t want to be greedy but Jeremy was his only friend and just Skyping and texting him just wasn’t enough.  Michael longed for something more that was just a _maybe_.


	2. Chapter 2

“Michael Mell!” was the first thing Michael heard when he stepped through his front door.  Tossing his backpack and keys onto the table in the foyer, Michael trudged into the kitchen where he knew his mother was waiting.

“Hey, Ma,” he mumbled, eyeing the sink full of dishes he knew he was told to clean last night.

“How was your day?” she asked calmly, although her foot continued to tap the floor.  Michael shrugged.  “Me too,” she sighed.  “I was out shopping this morning and I stopped in the grocery store to get you that sushi package you like.”  Mrs. Mell stepped forward and gave her son a quick pinch to the cheek.  Michael scrunched his nose but didn't  say anything.  “Because I love my son and he loves his sushi.  And then I come home and what do I find?  A sink full of dirty dishes!” Mrs. Mell was feigning most of her annoyance, but it got the point across.

“Can I do them later?” Michael asked, knowing he was pushing his luck.  He felt bad for not doing what he was told, but not bad enough.

“Later?” Mrs. Mell repeated, opening her mouth to continue when Michael interrupted.

“Ma, it's Jeremy's birthday and I've already kept him waiting!  I didn't know I'd have to take up a quiz after school,” Michael quickly explained, his hands gesticulating wildly.  

Mrs. Mell's expression softened.  “Your fake friend?”

_ “Ma—” _

“Go,” she said.  “Go on, take your sushi.”  She shooed him away and added, “But I am making chicken for dinner and you can clean those dishes, too, when you come back downstairs.”

“Thanks, Ma!” Michael exclaimed, grabbing his sushi and a can of Pepsi from the refrigerator before running up the stairs.

“And tell Jeremy I said happy birthday!”

No less than five minutes later, Michael and Jeremy were on their Skype call, Michael happily munching away on his food.

“Sorry I'm late,” Michael grumbled through a mouthful of food, “I had to make stuff up from when I was sick the other day.”

“It's fine,” Jeremy replied, settling back into a comfy spot on his bed.  “I actually… didn't really notice.”

“Huh?” Michael asked, swallowing thickly and grabbing for his drink.  The soda can popped and fizzed and Michael took a sip.

“Yeah, I, uh, was texting someone.  I think someone  _ actually _ doesn't hate me for once.”  Jeremy smiled, his shoulders moving up like they always do when Jeremy smiled.  It made Michael smile.

“Buddy, that's great!” Michael exclaimed.  “Who is it?  Are they cool?  They better know the spot for best friend is taken.”

Jeremy laughed.  “I'll be sure to tell him that.  And you probably won't believe it but it's Rich.”

“Hold up,” Michael said, stopping mid fork-to-mouth.  “Isn't that the kid that has bullied you for like, three years?” 

“Well…  _ yeah, _ ” Jeremy replied, pulling at the sleeves of his shirt.  “I don't know what changed but he's actually pretty nice and cool,” Jeremy shrugged.  “He said he always felt bad about making fun of me, though, that he only did it to fit in.”

“Are you sure he really wants to be your friend?” Michael asked, although immediately regretting it when he saw Jeremy's face fall.  Michael's heart nearly shattered as he watched the excitement vanish from Jeremy's expression.

“What I mean,” Michael quickly added, “is that you don't usually become friends with your bully just like that.”  Michael snapped his fingers.  “And I'm happy for you, really, but I don't want you to get hurt.”

Jeremy's expression softened.  “Thanks.  I think he's genuine, though.  He even invited me to hang out with his friends over the weekend.”  Jeremy smiled again.  He looked like he was about to start bouncing up and down he was so happy.

“I'm glad,” Michael replied, nearly melting at the sight of Jeremy so happy.  “Tell me how it goes.”  

Michael knew that he probably wouldn't get to play video games with Jeremy this weekend because of that, but he didn't want to make Jeremy feel guilty about having new friends.  Michael considered getting his mom to play with him.  She seemed to like the Star Fox games, although she always kicked his ass on the flight levels.

“Anyway, I got your package in the mail,” Jeremy said, snapping Michael back to the present.  

“Did you open it yet?”

“Not yet, I wanted to wait for you,” Jeremy explained, leaning over his laptop to grab a small package.

“Open it,” Michael urged.  “Oh, and my mom says happy birthday.” 

While prying the tape off of the package, Jeremy replied, “I love your mom.  Tell her I said thanks.”

“Uh, duh, everyone loves my mom,” Michael commented.

Once the package was opened, Michael beamed, watching Jeremy pull out three different things: a CD, a shirt, and an unopened video game.

“Holy shit,” Jeremy murmured, hunched over the package.  “Dude, the must've cost a small fortune!” he exclaimed, looking up at Michael.  Although he worried about the price, he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face or the happiness out of his eyes.

Michael shrugged.  “Nothing is too good for my best friend.  Besides, I've got a lot of money saved up from my job, anyway.”  Michael shifted, leaning forward.  “So, do you like it?”

While Michael was talking, Jeremy was trying to shimmy the shirt over his head.  Curly hair sticking out of the head hole, he finally pulled the shirt on, a big  _ Star Wars  _ print on the chest.  Jeremy smoothed down the front; it was a little big on him.  

“I love it are you kidding?!” Jeremy laughed, picking up the video game.  “Why is there a receipt with it?”

“In case you don't like it,” Michael shrugged.

“ _ Michael, this cost forty bucks?!”  _ Jeremy asked, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.  He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that someone wanted to spend money on him besides his dad, let alone this much money.

“Hey, shut up, it's your birthday,” Michael instructed, feeling giddy inside.  “You don't get to complain about the price.”

Jeremy stayed quiet for a moment, reading the back of the game.  “You're the best Michael, I love you.”

Michael's smile faltered.  “Love you, too, buddy.”  He knew Jeremy didn't mean he  _ loved  _ him and it hurt hearing it said aloud.  “C'mon, you're skipping the best part.”

Jeremy looked up for a moment before picking up the CD.  “Two Player Game?” Jeremy read off the CD title slowly, dragging his fingers over the two stick figures drawn into the CD.  One had big squiggle hair, the other spikey hair.  “What is this?” Jeremy asked.

“It's our playlist,” Michael replied, proud of his gift idea.  “It's all the songs that reminded me of us.  Plus, a few of our all time favorite jams,” Michael explained.

When Jeremy looked up again he looked as though he was ready to cry.  “This is so nice,” he mumbled.  “You're the bestest best friend ever.”

“‘Bestest best friend?’” Michael laughed.

“Shut up,” Jeremy replied, although laughing with him.  Michael's view of Jeremy shook before Jeremy disappeared from the screen.

“Where'd ya go?” Michael asked, trying to look around the corner of the screen, despite knowing he couldn't.

“Just a sec,” Jeremy called.  A few moments later, a song started playing: the first song on the Two Player Game track.  Jeremy jumped back onto the bed.  “I love it.” 

“It's only the first song,” Michael laughed.

Jeremy shrugged.  “I know, but this could literally be the worst soundtrack ever and I'd still love it.”  

Michael smiled, his cheeks heating up.  “Happy birthday, buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (^: 
> 
> comments appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

“—and  _ then  _ I was  _ positive _ Rich was gonna get into a fist fight in the parking lot, but that…,” Jeremy rambled.  He was laying on his bed, stomach down, kicking his feet in the air behind him like a little kid.

Michael listened from his end, pulling a clean shirt over his head.  He still couldn't believe Jeremy  _ willingly  _ got up two hours early just to Skype him while he was getting ready.  Jeremy's hair would always be a mess, as was the state of his bed, and he usually sounded tired, but he'd always claim to be fine.  The days he got up early were the days he usually passed out while they talked at night.

“—and you won't believe it but I think that Brooke girl has a crush on me—” 

From what Jeremy had told Michael, he had a great weekend.  He ended up going out with his new friends on both Saturday and Sunday.  Michael was semi-suspicious that they did something illegal, but he couldn't complain while Jeremy looked this happy.  

“Anyway, what'd you do this weekend?” Jeremy asked, resting his head on top of his folded wrists.  His hair was starting to fall over his eyes.

Michael smiled, sitting back down on his bed and shrugging.  “Got high.”  He began to pull on his socks and shoes.

“So the usual?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah,” Michael laughed.  “Except no video games.”  Jeremy frowned.  He hadn't realized they skipped their weekend video game playing until now.  

“Sorry, man, I completely forgot—,” Jeremy started, beginning to sit up.

“Don't worry about it,” Michael responded weakly.  Michael doubted Jeremy would believe his answer and he was thankful that Jeremy didn't push it further.  “My mom made me go to her knitting class, though.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy snorted, settling back down in his comfy spot on his bed.  “You any good at knitting?”

“No,” Michael laughed.  “I helped my mom finish a pair of socks, though.  She gave them to me after.”

“Are you gonna wear them?”

Michael dramatically lifted his leg into the air, showing off his baby blue knee high socks.  “Hecks yeah I'm gonna wear them, Jeremy,” Michael replied with a grin.  “I can't let my mom down after she spent so long working on them.”

Jeremy covered his mouth with his hand, trying to keep himself from laughing.  “Why are they so high?” he asked, his little smile peeking through his fingers.

Michael shrugged.  “She likes knee highs, I guess.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, their cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so much.  Michael looked over to his clock, almost falling out of his bed when he saw the time.

“Hey, I'm kinda late,” Michael said, grabbing up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.  “I gotta go.  Try to get some sleep before school, okay?” Michael smiled over at his laptop, knowing Jeremy usually had trouble falling asleep.  “Text you later?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy nodded, yawning at them mention of another hour of sleep.  “I’ll text you on the bus.  Night.  Or morning.  Whatever,” Jeremy shook his head and Michael laughed.

“See ya, buddy.”  The video ended and Michael sighed quietly.

***

Michael didn't get his bus text from Jeremy.  He didn't think much of it, assuming he was too tired to remember.  And so, naturally, Michael filled their chat with his texts on his own.

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ “do you remember france?” “ofc i remember france” + eyebrow wiggle - those two boys in math _

_ what happened in france jeremy _

_ i swear they are dating _

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ my english teacher didn't notice that i answered all the hw in scribbles thank god for messy handwriting _

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ dude i almost got in trouble i nearly turned in a paper with a dick drawing on it _

By Michael's fifth period, and Jeremy's third, he finally received a response.

**_From Jeremy:_ **

_ was it a realistic dick?  also why are you drawing dicks on your paper _

_ sorry i didn't respond earlier _

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ its cool. _

_ and no not realistic im not  _ that  _ gay for a nice cock _

**_From Jeremy:_ **

_ you're so weird michael _

And that was it.  Michael continued his bombardment throughout the day, sending text after text about his daily mishaps, school gossip, and any cool new fact he could think of.  For every ten texts Michael sent, he received one in return.

What made it worse was the little  _ 'Seen’  _ projected under his messages.  Michael gave up on his last period, resorting to telling his mom about his day instead.  She, thankfully, chatted back with enthusiasm.

It wasn't until later, two hours after school got out for Michael, that his phone buzzed on his stomach.  He lowered the volume of his music and sat up in bed, turning his phone on and reading the message.

**_From Jeremy:_ **

_ hey buddy, sorry about not texting you a lot today.  after this weekend rich and jake and the girls too want to talk to me?  ik ik i can barely believe it myself.  i guess i just got caught up in hanging with them ya know? _

_ i just got home, tho.  jake gave me a ride.  crazy, huh?   _

_ do you wanna skype? _

Michael closed his texting app and left his phone on his bed.  He pulled out his laptop instead, leaving the Skype window minimized and opening a game instead.  Michael knew he was being petty, but he didn't really care in the moment.  Ten minutes or so wouldn't kill Jeremy.

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ it's cool (:  _

_ sorry, tho, can't skype today.  promised my mom id go out with her ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  _

**_From Jeremy_ ** **:**

_ oh.. okay.  come back to me in one piece _

**_To Jeremy:_ **

_ ill try _

_ skype tonight? _

**_From Jeremy:_ **

_ yeah, sounds good _

Michael shut off his phone, stuffing it in his pocket.  He grabbed his shoes and left his room to run down the stairs. 

“Hey, Ma!” Michael yelled, his heavy footsteps echoing on the steps.  “Wanna go to lunch and ice cream?  I got a bonus at work last week.”  Michael stopped once he reached his mom, keys in hand.  

He put on his best smile for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so so sorry i didn't update on time


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry oops

“Do you… have muscles?” 

Michael nearly slapped himself for asking such a blunt question.  It had come after a lull in their conversation.  Jeremy had went back to scribbling down answers to his homework and it wasn't like Michael was  _ staring  _ or  _ gawking  _ or  _ anything  _ like that, he just happened to notice Jeremy was… beefier.  It's not like he was popping muscles or anything, sometimes Michael doubted if that twig would  _ ever  _ manage popping muscles, but his arms were definitely more defined.  

“I—uh,” Jeremy stammered.  “I guess?”  He dropped his pencil to feel his arm and flex a little.  Jeremy smiled.  “Yeah.  A little.”  He seemed proud of himself.

“ _ How?”   _ Jeremy turned back to his laptop and pouted.  “Not to be mean but don't you, like, sit on your ass all day?” 

Jeremy shrugged.  “I started going to the gym.”

“You  _ what?”   _ Michael gaped, not believing what he was hearing.  Jeremy had once told him the girls in his grade would tease him because they're stronger than he was.

“I… I didn't like how I looked.”  Jeremy refused to look at Michael.

“Jeremy…,” Michael replied, his voice soft.  “Why?  If it counts for anything, I think you look  _ lovely.”   _ Was that too gay?  Maybe a little.  “Er— um, hot?”  That was even gayer.  “You look  _ fine,  _ Jeremy.”  

Jeremy laughed at Michael's attempt to help.  “Thanks, buddy.  I don't know, it's just…,” Jeremy shrugged again, “Rich and Jake are so  _ ripped  _ and so are all their friends?  They're good looking and I'm… not?  Even Chloe says everyone thinks I'm not that cute?  Which I'm cute, right?  I'm not  _ hot,  _ but I'm cute?  I mean she did kiss me like right after that so maybe she does think I'm cute?”

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down,” Michael interjected, waving his hands back and forth.  “First of all— _ a real life girl kissed you?   _ Holy shit, dude, congrats!”  Jeremy seemed to puff up at the compliment.  “But real talk—that’s not okay?  If they're really your friends, they shouldn't be making you feel bad about your body or anything at all about you!  They should be  _ encouraging _ you and  _ supporting _ you.”

Jeremy had begun to tug on his sleeves.  “I suppose but… they're nice to me?  Chloe kinda scares me and Jake a little, too, but…,” Jeremy trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.  “It just feels nice to be somebody, ya know?”

Michael's expression softened.  “You  _ are  _ somebody, Jeremy.”

“Somebody more than a dweeb who jacks it more times a day than he has friends?” Jeremy deadpanned.

“Holy  _ fuck,  _ do you really—”   _ Don't think about it.  Don't think about it. _

“I, uh, ignore that part,” Jeremy stammered, going red. 

“Oh-kaay,” Michael exhaled.  “But, uh, yeah, definitely!  You're my best friend who's cool and smart, even though you got a D in calculus, and funny!”  _  And your laugh makes me happy and your smile could brighten a room and you're cute and handsome and hot all at the same time—well maybe not  _ hot  _ but ya know like damn I'd— _

“—and you're the best, Michael,” Jeremy beamed.  “I guess I'll be more careful around my new, uh, friends?  I hope you're not right but—”

“—but I've never been wrong before?” Michael supplied, laying a hand on his chest.

“Uhhh… not what I was gonna say, but sure,” Jeremy smiled, “Let's go with that.”

***

“What's wrong?” Mrs. Mell asked, watching her son play with his fries.  The fact he wasn't stealing food off of her plate at this point was worrying in itself, let alone Michael's downtrodden expression.

“Nothin’,” he replied, sticking a fry in his mouth and twirling his straw around in the ice that was left in his glass.  He was waiting on a refill from the waitress.

“I know it's not  _ nothin’.   _ Can we skip the part where I ask you five more times and you just tell me what is bothering you?” Mrs. Mell replied.  Michael looked up at his mother for a moment before sighing.

“It  _ is  _ nothing.  It's just Jeremy…,” Michael trailed off, shrugging.  

“Your fake friend?” Mrs. Mell teased  for a moment before asking, I “Did he do something?”

“Not really?” Michael began to swing his legs under the table.  “He's just more distant, I guess.  He's got new friends which means less time for me.”

“Are you feeling replaced?”

Michael opened his mouth to respond when the waitress put down his drink, taking the empty one.  “Thank you.”  He took a long sip before returning to his mother.  “No, I'm happy for him, really.  It's just…,” Michael trailed off again, trying to find a way to compose his thoughts without sounding needy and desperate.  “It's not like I have any  _ other  _ friends and I'm kind of worried I might lose him.”

Mrs. Mell put her fork down.  “If you lose him, you lose him.”  Michael looked up in shock, not expecting such a blunt answer.  “If he can't stick with you, he doesn't deserve to be friends with you.”

“ _ Ma.” _

“I am serious.  If he is your friend, Michael, you  _ won't  _ lose him.  I know long distance relationships are hard, but you claim to have been friends with him since sixth grade?”

“I don't  _ claim,  _ Ma, I  _ have  _ been friends with him that long.”

“Then why should new friendships be better than a five year one?”

Michael shrugged, playing with his straw.  “They're cooler than me… better than me… apparently  _ kissing _ Jeremy _ ; I  _ certainly can't give him that.” 

Mrs. Mell smiled.  “No one is cooler or better than my bubi,” she cooed, reaching over the table to pinch Michael's cheek.

_ “Ma, please, not in public!”  _ he whimpered, trying to swat away his mother's hand.

Mrs. Mell smiled fondly, retracting her hand.  “Now eat, eat.  You've barely touched your food!” 

Michael smiled, his mother's words instilling a little bit of hope in him.  He was Jeremy's best friend, his player one.  No one could replace him even if they tried.   _ Besides,  _ geeks beat preps  _ any day. _

***

“I talked to the others.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael replied, drumming his fingers on his thigh to the rhythm of  _ Sledgehammer _ by Peter Gabriel playing in the background.  It was one of the songs from Michael's Two Player Game mix.  “'Bout what?”

“You.”

Michael looked up from his lap.  Jeremy was pulling at his sleeves again.  “Yeah?  Did you tell everyone how cool I am?”  

Jeremy didn't smile.  “They… they say you're jealous.”

“Jealous?” Michael snorted.  “Of what?  Is this about me saying they aren't good friends?”

“Yes, actually it is,” Jeremy responded, his voice harder than before, more confident.  “They made me think about stuff.  Why aren't you happy for me?  I've finally got friends and you've only complained about them.”

“Jeremy—”  Michael couldn't believe he was actually hurt.  “I was trying to look out for you, you're my best friend—”

“—So you  _ are _ jealous?”

“ _ Of what?!” _  Michael nearly laughed if the situation wasn't growing so tense.

“That I'm actually climbing up the social ladder in the world and actually _ becoming  _ someone and you're not!”  

Michael faltered.  “You're not climbing _ anything,  _ Jeremy.  It's  _ high school. _ ”

Jeremy frowned.  “Yeah and you're just the  _ loser  _ of high school.  You can't be happy for me because you're still stuck at the bottom: worthless and friendless!” 

“Jeremy…”  His words pierced Michael's heart.  He felt like crying.  He  _ was  _ crying.  “I'm not friendless…” 

“Wasn't it you who said friends are supposed to support each other?  'Cause I don't feel supported.  At all.”  Jeremy looked away from the camera, hugging his arms close to his body.

“I do support you!” Michael replied, quickly wiping his face.  “All I ever  _ do  _ is support you but you're too dense to see it!” 

Jeremy stilled, his eyes flickering towards the camera.  “Bye, Michael.”

_ Call ended. _

_ Calling Jeremy. _

_ No response. _

_ Calling Jeremy. _

_ No response. _

_ Calling Jeremy. _

_ No response. _

“Come on,” Michael mumbled, feeling tears on his cheeks again.

_ No response. _

_ No response. _

_ Jeremy has blocked you from sending or receiving messages from their account. _

Michael slammed his laptop shut, nearly throwing it off of the bed until he caught himself and tossed it on the floor.  The song switched _ : Power of Love _ by Huey Lewis and the News.


	5. Chapter 5

Jeremy’s heart pounded.  He didn't know if he did the right thing.  

_ Incoming call from Michael _ .

_ Is he coming to apologise?  No, why would he. _

_ Hang up. _

_ Incoming call from Michael. _

_He probably just wants to mock me_ _some more.  He probably hates me._

_ Hang up. _

_ Incoming call from Michael. _

_ I'd hate me, too. _

_ Hang up. _

_ Incoming call from Michael. _

_ He deserves it. _

_ Hang up. _

_ Incoming call from Michael. _

_ I'm a terrible friend.   _

_ Hang up. _

_ Blocking Michael will stop him from contacting you.  Do you wish to continue? _

_ Continue. _

Jeremy shut his laptop, pushing it away from him.  What did he just do?  He was still mad—Michael  _ was  _ being way too overprotective; who was he to say who Jeremy's real friends were?  He's never even  _ met  _ them.  He doesn't know  _ anything _ about them!  

Jeremy climbed off of his bed and began pacing.  But he's been friends with Michael for years.  Was he crying before he hung up?  Jeremy couldn't really tell, he was too absorbed in his own world to tell.  

_ Call him,  _ a little voice in the back of his head urged.  

Jeremy's eyes fell onto his laptop and then to his phone.  

_ Say you're sorry. _

Jeremy ran his fingers through his hair, pulling hard.

_ He doesn't deserve this. _

Jeremy took a step towards his bed.

_ Why should you apologize?  He should apologize. _

Jeremy hesitated, his hand already reaching to his phone.  

_ It's like he's making you choose: him or your new group of friends. _

Jeremy felt like crying.

_ You've never even met Michael.  You don't know what he's  _ really  _ even like.  _

Jeremy collapsed on his bed.  He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what was right.

His phone buzzed by his face and in a heartbeat, Jeremy was answering it.  His heart sunk when he saw it was Rich.  

_ From Rich: _

_ yo you wanna hang with jake and i?  we are going to get lunch and then we're going back to jakes place _

_ From Rich: _

_ we are trying to get the girls to come but they seem busy _

_ To Rich:  _

_ yeah, sure.  i need something to get my mind off of things anyway. _

Jeremy exhaled, grabbing his shoes off of the floor.  Maybe he just needed a little distraction.  

***

Drinking in Jake's room certainly proved to be a good distraction for Jeremy, except that buzzed Jeremy had no qualms about spilling his heart out.

“Can you believe I practically told my best friend to fuck off?” Jeremy asked, his tone low and glum as he picked at the hem of his jeans. 

Rich sat next to him on the bed, glancing over to Jake who was in a swivel chair.  “You sounded pretty brutal,” Rich mumbled, taking another sip of his drink.  Jake nodded.  Both boys seemed a little uncomfortable but Jeremy hadn't noticed.

“You were the ones who brought up that he seemed jealous,” Jeremy whined, flopping back on the bed, nearly spilling his drink.

“That's because he  _ does  _ sound jealous,” Jake replied.  “But we didn't tell you to start a whole soap opera drama fest with him,” he mumbled into the opening of his can.

“All he's been is nice to me,” Jeremy whined.  “He even spent like half of his paycheck on my birthday.  And made me a CD!”  Jeremy hung his head.

Jake snorted.  “Sounds like we know why he's jealous.”  Rich and Jeremy looked up in confusion.  “He wants  _ you  _ all to himself.  Your buddy is gay as fuck, bro,” Jake snickered. 

“Michael?  No…,” Jeremy shook his head.  “I doubt it.  He would've told me.”

“Either way,” Rich continued, noticeably uneasy, “you fucked up.  Maybe he does hate you!  Maybe he loves you!  Maybe he's secretly a douchebag and good riddance!  How well  _ do  _ you know him?”

“I've known him for five years—,”

“No, no, no.  You can be  _ totally _ fake over the internet.  Have you ever met him?  Anything more than text?”

“We Skype a lot…,” Jeremy began to doubt himself again.

“That's a start,” Rich murmured before shrugging.  

To be honest, he wasn't really interested in the subject matter.  Michael, to him, had always seemed a little off.  A five year friend Jeremy has never met?  Shady as fuck.  And to make it worse he's from  _ California _ .  New Jersey may be the armpit of America but at least it's not  _ California. _

“Give it some time,” Rich concluded undramatically.  “Maybe he'll apologize.  Maybe he won't.  It'll give you time to think.”

“Jeremy's first couple fight,” Jake teased.  “I've heard this line a  _ bunch  _ of times from the girls I date, Jeremy.   _ 'I need some space.  We should take some time apart,’”  _ Jake imitated in a high pitchy, overly stereotypical girl voice. 

“How does it usually end?” Jeremy asked.  “Do you make up?”

“Usually,  _ no,”  _ Jake replied, leaning over the back of his chair.  Upon seeing Jeremy's expression, he quickly added, “But sometimes things worked out fine.  The ones who did turned out to be my strongest relationships.”

“If you and Michael get a divorce, who's keeping the kids?” Rich asked quietly, laughing when Jeremy punched his arm.  

“I guess…,” Jeremy mumbled, not satisfied with the advice he was given, but not having anything better to go off of.

Later that day when his phone buzzed, his heart jumped, expecting it to be Michael.  He couldn't explain the empty feeling in his stomach when he realized it was just his dad, but he didn't like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeremys gay and not a total douche bag. if things go smoothly the next three chs will be in jeremys perspective and things will be done idk tho
> 
> anyway! after i finish this i wanna do another multichaptered fic and im deciding from: fake dating, spy/chuck au, magic au so if anyone has any preference 
> 
> ALSO THE VOICES IN JEREMYS HEAD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SQUIP there's no squip in this fic cause the squip can suck my ass


	6. a/n + story hand off

long time no see :( 

 i came back to say i probably won't be continuing this, i still like bmc, but i kinda fell out of the fandom— i felt bad for dropping the story with nothing.  i read all of your sweet comments tho and i appreciate them all (+ the ones on my other stories!) 

 

anyway, if there is anyone who'd want to pick up this story where i left off, lmk :) 

**Author's Note:**

> safkja so here it is!! @founding_daddio's idea!!


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